Protect Yourself During Divorce
Are You Protected?
Has divorce left you feeling vulnerable emotionally or financially? Are you feeling backed into a corner or facing an uncertain future? How will you protect your children throughout this process?
“If you hold yourself dear, protect yourself well.” – Buddha
There are so many different phases of the divorce process and there are so many different paths you could choose; it might be overwhelming at first. How do you know what’s right for you and your family?
The first step is to break the divorce process down into the different phases: pre-divorce planning and preparation, completing the divorce process itself, and post-divorce planning and preparation. Starting with an experienced, professional team will give you’re the best chance of success. They will help you create reasonable, manageable goals, keep you on task, hold you accountable and will be able to keep the big picture clearly in mind so you don’t get side-tracked by any unexpected conflict or the unavoidable detours along the way.
Here are some things to help you be “SMART from the Start™”:
Start Early – Divorce takes time. Sometimes lots of it. Don’t rush through the process, but don’t drag your feet. Give yourself and your team the time they need to help you get your best outcome.
Manage Your Emotions – Sound decisions are never made in the midst of emotional turmoil, but costly mistakes often are.
Assess Your Options – There are new and better ways to divorce and you could save yourself much time, energy and money if you can avoid the traditional litigated route. (Download the DivorceTown® Road Map for more information)
Reach Out for Help – This is not the time to be alone or do it alone.
Teamwork – Three essential members of any successful divorce team are a good, settlement-minded attorney, a financial expert specializing in divorce and a mental health professional experienced in grief and divorce recovery. Other important professionals may need to be consulted along the way and a good divorce team will have trusted referral sources for you.
“Protect your spirit from contamination. Limit your time with negative people. – Tema Davis”
If you’ve already started the divorce process but you don’t like where it’s going, or you’re not sure your best interests are being protected, here are a few things you should do:
Get Organized: Gather all of your financial documentation and get it organized in one place. These don’t have to be paper files. You can get organized easily and efficiently on the cloud as well. (Click Here for a complimentary Free Divorce Financial Fitness Kit to help start getting organized now.)
Educate Yourself: Understand your divorce options so you can choose or switch to the right process for you. Make sure you understand your financial accounts. Know what your assets are, any income they may generate and be sure of exactly what debt is in your name. Not all assets and debts are created equal.
Put Kids First: Give thought and attention to the physical, emotional and financial needs of your children and try to prepare your parenting plan with their best interests in mind. This may involve accepting that what is truly best for them may not be what you originally envisioned.
Be Realistic: With the help of a financial expert, prepare a realistic post-divorce budget so that you will understand now what you will need to plan and prepare for later.
“I think protecting your family and giving to them is so important. It’s the most important achievement.” – Natalia Vodianova
What if you are nearing the end of your divorce or you have recently finalized the process? Here are the ABCs of divorce recovery and rebuilding:
Acceptance - Your divorce happened and now you must move on in the healthiest way for you physically, emotionally and financially.
Balanced - You will have good days and bad days. There will be things that are better than you expected and others that will be harder to deal with. The grief process takes time and it’s okay if you don’t feel better right away. Take good care of your physical and mental health.
Cover Yourself - Make sure that all the “i’s” are dotted, and the “t’s” are crossed. Update your policies and titles and protect yourself financially.
If it seems like this is a lot of work and a lot of steps, that’s because it is! Understanding where you want or need to go and the best way to get there is the key to getting through it smartly and sanely.
To help get you started, we’ve included two articles from divorce professionals who are experienced in protecting their clients. Also, our FREE Divorce Financial Fitness Kit is available for download any time right here on our homepage.
Wishing you many happy endings.