Live Your Best (Post-Divorce) life!
Dealing with a change of lifestyle is one of the most common post-divorce issues we see people struggle with.
When you suddenly find yourself 100% financially responsible for every expense, repair and emergency that comes your way, it may seem overwhelming, and many people end up drowning in debt. Some just stop caring for their physical and emotional health all together because the healthcare system is just overwhelming.
So, how can you prepare now for your post-divorce financial life? If you’re already divorced and struggling, what are some things you can do today to help you have better tomorrows? While we don’t claim to have all the answers, this month’s blog will focus on some practical steps and resources that can help.
Create a Budget
While this may seem basic, or even unnecessary, this is the first, most important step. The unfortunate truth is that most people have no idea how much money they actually spend each month, and they consistently live beyond their means. More than just not being financially viable left unchecked this type of overspending can lead to a mountain of debt and ruined credit.
How to Do It. Review your bank and credit card statements for at least the past 3 months and compare your expenses to your income. You can create your own spreadsheet or look for budgeting apps/software that will do the math for you and monitor your budget going forward. If you create your own spreadsheet, start with the necessities, like housing, groceries and medical and then work your way down to things like entertainment and hobbies.
If you find that your basic monthly necessities are truly costing you more than your monthly income, there are few different things to consider. Is it time to refinance the home you’re in? Or is it possible that you’ll need to move to a less expensive home or apartment? This can be a difficult decision to make, especially if it involves selling a home you love, but it is often a reality that simply must be faced.
“Financial independence is the ability to live from the income of your own personal resources.” ~ Jim Rohn
Reset Your Financial Goals
Now that your divorced or divorcing, your financial priorities will likely change. Things you were purchasing or saving for during your marriage may no longer be necessary or important? So, what is/are your personal, financial goal(s) now?
Getting out of debt?
Saving for retirement?
Putting the kids through college?
Starting a new career or business?
Depending on where you want your financial focus to be going forward, meeting with a financial planner sooner rather than later can help you plan and work for what matters most to you now.
“A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life.” ~ Suze Orman
Save Something Every Month
Even if it’s only $50, try to set at least a little something aside every single month. You may have a cash jar at home, or you could open a simple savings account that you can fund each month. Some people choose to have a small amount direct deposited from each paycheck directly into a separate account and then they build their monthly budget around their remaining income.
Sometimes you may have more, sometimes less, but you’ll find a little something put away every month adds up quickly.
Treat Yourself
Even with a tight budget, it’s important to treat ourselves now and then to a guilty pleasure or two. And, it doesn’t necessarily have to be something expensive. Even a small thing, when it’s just for you, can go a long way. Here are just a few ideas that anyone can enjoy, even on a budget:
Get Out in Nature
Catch a sunset. Go for a walk with a friend. Read a book on a bench at the park.
Move Your Body
Dance to your favorite songs in the living room. Dust off the bike or that old pair of skates. Plan a hike. Find a local exercise group that meets in the park or at the beach.
Movie Night
Get yourself some of your favorite movie snacks and rent a movie or two that you’ve always wanted to see. If you invite a few friends, have them each bring one thing and now you’ve cut the cost and increased the fun even more!
Catch Up with an Old Friend
Call your bestie who moved out of state. Reach out to your mom or your favorite aunt. Send a card or write a letter to someone who’s been on your mind. Looking for a project? Plan a Zoom family reunion!
Buy Yourself Something Small
Like to read? Buy a book on sale. Get a basic manicure. Grab your favorite candy bar on your way out of the store. Sip a coffee at your favorite local café. Spoil yourself just a little. Retail “therapy” doesn’t have to be expensive to be effective.
The bottom line is you even if you are now completely responsible for your financial future, you never have to do it totally on your own. Take advantage of the many resources and programs that are available to you, including those found on this website and in this blog, and let us know how we can help!
Additional Resources
Find Out More about protecting yourself financially during divorce with this helpful Webinar. This and others like it are always available to watch on-demand at the DivorceTown USA® YouTube Channel.
The Divorce Do’s & Don’ts Show
February Line Up
Divorce Recovery & Rebuilding
February 1 Can You Still Be Friends With the Ex-In laws? Should You? with Guest Kathleen Shack, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Certified Discernment Counselor, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Registered Divorce Mediator
February 8 🤍 Be Your Own Valentine 🤍 with Guest Dr. Deborah Wilder, Ph.D., Counseling Psychology, Registered Neutral (Georgia Office of Alternate Dispute Resolution), Parent Coordinator, Licensed Psychologist (State of Georgia)
February 15 Dating After Divorce with Guest Bela Gandhi, Dating Coach with Smart Dating Academy
February 22 Your New Life’s Chapter - Where Would You Like to Go? with Guest Stephanie Robins, LCSW, Certified Collaborative Divorce Coach, Child Specialist, CoParenting Educator, Mediator, and Parenting Coordinator