Electronically stored information is the data that can be recovered from devices, websites, email accounts, servers and more that can tell a story about where people were, what they were doing, and what they may have been saying or thinking.   On the news and on television commercials, we are bombarded with information about how a missing person’s cell phone gave clues to their whereabouts or to the wrongdoer.  You can even track your stolen iPhone with a certain app – it maps where the iPhone has gone and where it is located.  It is amazing.

In the world of divorce, where distrust and suspicion are frequent characteristics, electronic information often fleshes out who may be untruthful or unfaithful.   Facebook is now a frequent “witness”  in divorce cases, even blamed for breaking up marriages.  Individuals often use Facebook to share their feelings, whereabouts, and more…including pictures of a lover and potentially defamatory rants about the other party.  Lawyers often find it to be a treasure trove of items that may help their clients’ cases or that may push the other-party to reconsider the position on settlement.

The electronic information on Facebook, as well as other sources such as texts, emails, ATM transactions, etc. is a burgeoning area of evidence.   In litigation, the rules of evidence and the laws of divorce are both state specific items.  As a result, there is no national standard in how to handle these issues which often involve questions regarding when a party is required to preserve such electronically stored information and who will be responsible for paying for its retrieval.   Depending upon the state in which the divorce is pending, litigation may involve the use of an e-Discovery expert, Special Master, Arbitrator or Mediator (e-Neutral) to resolve these issues, some of which may involve sanctions if the spouse at issue delays, destroys, or fails to preserve relevant evidence (including the incriminating or damning evidence). 

Attorneys, including Family Lawyers, should know who in their communities has computer forensic experience, as well as ADR professionals who are well-versed in e-Discovery matters, such as One Mediation’s neutrals who have e-Discovery experience at attorneys and have completed e-Discovery training.

Jennifer Keaton is an attorney and registered mediator in Georgia.  As a mediator, Ms. Keaton helps divorcing parties to focus their time and energy on solutions as it relates to parenting challenges and needs, division of assets and debts, and support issues.  In mediation, Ms. Keaton is known for helping parties find creative solutions to complex problems that still provide greater certainty and predictability as the family transitions forward.  Ms. Keaton’s legal background coupled with a past career as a school teacher is often sought by divorcing parents who have their children’s best interests at heart.

Mediation’s Most Common Mistake

One of the most common comments I hear when talking to people about their experience with mediation is, “I just wanted to get it over with.”  I hear that with both sadness and concern.

When someone participates in a mediation session, that day is one of the most important days of their life.  The decisions made that day affect their and their family’s financial well-being, emotional health, and overall lifestyle.  The day of your mediation session is not the time to be vulnerable to the pressures of a fast-moving and potentially overwhelming process.  It is the time to be prepared, focused and informed.

If you are going into mediation represented by counsel, make sure your attorney takes the time to thoroughly prepare you for the mediation process.  If you are going into mediation pro se, or without counsel, make sure you enlist the services of a mediation coach who will meet with you several days before your mediation session to familiarize you with the traps, tactics and techniques of mediation.  A professional mediation coach will listen to you talk about “your side of the story” from a neutral, impartial perspective and help you prepare, practice and polish the presentation of your story.

What you say in your mediation session should serve you well and strategically move you along to your targeted outcome.

Maintaining focus throughout the mediation session is a key to reaching a desirable resolution and something your coach can help you with.  There are techniques you can use to re-focus your attention if you find yourself tiring and heading for a sinking spell.  There are also strategies you can use if the session, itself, loses focus and begins heading down side paths that are counterproductive.  One of these tactics is to ask for a break.  A break at the right time can revitalize you.  It can also break the momentum of a discussion that is overwhelming you or not heading your way.

Being prepared for mediation and being knowledgeable about the dynamics of the process can make the difference between a mediation outcome you are pleased with or a mediation  outcome that sadly misses the mark in meeting your financial and emotional needs.  Get the preparation you deserve.  Your future could depend on it.

JoAnne Donner is a conflict resolution specialist with expertise in divorce, elder care, workplace, and general civil mediation matters.  She is a trained, certified, and registered mediator and arbitrator with a Master’s Degree in conflict management and certification in conflict dynamics consulting.  She is also a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.

Mediator/Mediation Coach/Divorce Coach — JoAnne Donner MS, CDFA, CDPC is the President of Mediation Services of Georgia; www.mediationservicesga.com;  info@mediationservicesga.com; 770/842-9400.

If you’ve been following me for any length of time you know that I’m always striving to bring more value to you with innovative products, programs and events that expand your mind, fill your heart and even possibly touch your soul. 

I want to thank you for trusting in me and my support staff as we create programs, products and services to help make your life better. 

Won’t you help me to better serve you? Come on! You’ve read this far, aren’t you curious what new ideas we’ve got cooking?! Go here to take the survey: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7S3GR66As always, wishing you peace and prosperity,

It’s also the area where water runs when we have hard rains and so keeping this area clear is important to preventing flooding.  With winter waning and recent rains washing away the yellow blanket of pollen that recently blanketed the area, I decided to take a day off and tend to this chore.

As I cleaned the massive pile of old leaves filled with sticks and stones that had washed on down, I noticed that there were small pools of water.  At first I thought it was the debris causing a blockage and figured that when I cleaned things up the water would simply dissipate.

Instead, something completely unexpected happened.  The more I cleaned and the deeper I dug, the more water that filled the channel. As I worked along the path, I realized our underground spring that had barely been just above a trickle, had now turned into the beautiful little stream I always wanted!

For some folks this might now be a big deal, but for me water is a kin to energy and I’ve always dreamed of having a simple stream in my backyard where I could sit and find peace amid life’s turmoil.  And while our backyard has beautiful woods, no water regularly flowed thru it unless it rained – until now.

It took two back-breaking days, but in the end, I had created a beautiful, serene place of peace for myself that I’ve always wanted.  I thought about the lessons I learned from this and how those lessons can apply to many things in life.

1. Things are not always what they appear to be on the surface.  Looking at the massive mess that was before me when I began, I had no idea the beauty that lay just below waiting to be uncovered.  Where are gifts waiting to be uncovered in your life?
2. Sometimes you have to get down and dirty and even stuck in the muck to uncover the life you want.  The water below did not flow on its own until I dug deep with a rake and a shovel, uncovering rocks and roots and even old bottles! By the time I was done I was covered in muck and mud and feeling complete satisfaction that I had persevered to create this inviting space I’d always wanted.  What is worth digging into for your life?
3. Break a big challenge down into manageable smaller pieces.  Looking at this 3’ high pile of debris running some 50’ long was quite intimidating at first, but then I decided to tackle it in sections at a time which made it much more manageable.  What one thing can you do today, and then again tomorrow, to overcome a challenge you face?
4. Clearing the channel opens up new possibilities.  By literally clearing the channel for the water to run, it also allowed new energy and ideas to flow through me and with that came answers to problems that I had been trying to resolve. When we have blocks in our lives it can limit our thoughts about what’s possible.  Where are the blocks in your life and how can you open them up for new energy to come thru?
5. You can create the life you want when you look at things differently. I love yard art and had quite a few Asian lanterns scattered around the yard.  Individually they did not make much of a statement, but when I gathered them all together they created the perfect synergy to my new peaceful place.  Where can you shift ideas or things to bring a new sense of appreciation?

You may not have a creek buried in your backyard, but I challenge you to create a simple space where you can find quiet peaceful moments that may lead you to new energy, new perspectives, and new ways of looking at your life.

It may be as simple as a space in your yard or a corner of a room, what or where it is doesn’t matter.  What does matter is what it does for you when you enter this sacred space you create for yourself.

I’d love to hear how you cleaned and cleared to create new energy flow and opened up possibilities for creating the life you’ve always wanted!

Andrews Entertainment District Courtyard

In Georgia, alimony – a monetary payment of support – is an unpredictable proposition at best.   There is no formula in the statutes that indicates even what the “range” might be for an alimony payment and there is basically only one bright-line rule regarding what divorces will NOT be eligible for alimony.  Unsurprisingly, alimony can be a very contentious issue in Georgia divorces and be a bar to reasonable and rational settlements.

However, there are a few pieces of information about alimony that may help serve as a starting point for understanding and talking about it:

• There is permanent alimony and temporary alimony.
• There is periodic payments of alimony and “lump sum” payment of alimony.
• Certain forms of infidelity can serve as a bar to an award of alimony.
• No formula exists for calculating alimony, but generally there is a balancing act set forth in the Georgia statutes regarding the “need” of the party seeking alimony and the “ability to pay” by the other party.
• Alimony has tax implications for the person receiving the monies and for the person paying the monies.   Click here for quick info on this item.

In divorce mediations, negotiating alimony can be an emotionally charged issue that results in irrational positions.  Sometime the dollars spent fighting over alimony or the amount of alimony are much higher than the actual amount of alimony being disputed.  Adding insult to financial injury, alimony may be deducted from the paying party’s income, while legal fees in divorce may not be eligible for deductions (check out Publication 504 for details).

The bottom line on alimony in Georgia is that there are no guarantees, but getting informed on these issues and consulting with good professionals early in the divorce process is critical to avoiding missteps and preserving finances, time, and emotional capital.

Jennifer Keaton is an attorney and registered mediator in Georgia.  As a mediator, Ms. Keaton helps divorcing parties to focus their time and energy on solutions as it relates to parenting challenges and needs, division of assets and debts, and support issues.  In mediation, Ms. Keaton is known for helping parties find creative solutions to complex problems that still provide greater certainty and predictability as the family transitions forward.  Ms. Keaton’s legal background coupled with a past career as a school teacher is often sought by divorcing parents who have their children’s best interests at heart.

Here are five ways you can elevate your personal financial profile and get yourself back in good standing with the credit reporting agencies:

Get Revolving Credit

A credit card comes with a credit limit, which is the maximum amount of credit available to you. Bankruptcy specialists from Lenz Law Firm suggest you use your credit, but keep your balance at about 30 percent of what’s available.

If you can’t get approved for a regular credit card, apply for a high-interest (or “secured”) card. These are designed for people who have damaged credit. A secured card mandates that applicants secure the account’s limit with their own savings. Resolve to pay more than the minimum balance due every month, even if it’s only $5 to $10 more. Minimum payments make you look like you’re living on the financial edge again.

Establish Installment Credit

This pertains to a bigger-ticket purchases, such as a car, that are paid for with fixed monthly payments over an agreed-upon repayment schedule. DriveTime bad credit car loans are examples of an installment loan that, once satisfied, helps credit-challenged consumers immensely.

Make Your Payments on Time

Although your past may not include a perfect, on-time payment history, you now have the opportunity to become a model borrower. Your payment history makes up 35 percent of your credit score, according to msn.com.

Consider setting up regular payments for your monthly bills online. This assures you’ll don’t overlook any more payments. Aim for a flawless on-time payment record by scheduling every payment at least one business day before it’s actually due. Many banks will charge a late fee if a credit card payment is not received by 10 a.m. on the due date.

Practice Self-Discipline

Don’t close any open credit card accounts, but limit yourself to using only one. Closing accounts can hurt your credit profile, but not using open accounts has no impact on your standing, according to msn.com. Also, keep spending to a minimum; don’t be tempted by impulse purchases or anything else you don’t absolutely need. Paying your credit card bill on time is much easier when your balance is small.

Be Patient

Owning your own home again is possible after a divorce; sometimes, it just takes time. If you filed a Chapter 7 bankruptcy as part of the process, you’ll most likely you’ll have to wait four years to qualify for a conventional mortgage. According to bankrate.com, you must wait two years after a bankruptcy to get an FHA mortgage. If you’ve been involved in a foreclosure, typically you’ll have to wait up to seven years to obtain a new mortgage.

Often a divorce will involve a decision about “who gets” the marital residence (and any mortgage associated with it).  The marital residence usually is one of the largest assets for any family, so it can take a prominent position in settlement negotiations and/or what a judge may do with it.

Selling the marital home and dividing up the proceeds of the sale used to be an easy proposition, but not now.  Selling the marital home can be hard in divorce, particularly where so many more homes have mortgage balances that are greater than the potential sale price.  When this occurs, the home is often described as being “underwater,” meaning more is owed on the home than it is worth.

In divorce mediations, the issues related to a marital home that is underwater can be tough, but not impossible.  Where a couple decides not to sell the marital home that would result in immediate debt, some common options include:

1. Refinancing the mortgage in the name of the spouse who will retain the marital home;
2. If refinancing the mortgage is impractical, typically the spouse who keeps the house will also agree to pay the mortgage and protect the non-paying spouse with a reimbursement and indemnification clause;
3. Consulting with a Financial Professional regarding the use of retirement benefits, such as 401(k) accounts, to address the mortgage;
4. Consulting with a tax professional or attorney regarding the tax implications of the spouse who may pay alimony and child support to the other spouse when that paying spouse pays for the mortgage on the other spouse’s home where the children primarily reside;
5. Consulting with an attorney regarding the pros and cons of foreclosure and/or bankruptcy.

There are other options and rarely a perfect answer to these financial quandaries.  The good news seems to be that the economy is starting to show signs of recovery, rumblings that may make the “underwater” market less deep.

Jennifer Keaton is an attorney and registered mediator in Georgia.  As a mediator, Ms. Keaton helps divorcing parties to focus their time and energy on solutions as it relates to parenting challenges and needs, division of assets and debts, and support issues.  In mediation, Ms. Keaton is known for helping parties find creative solutions to complex problems that still provide greater certainty and predictability as the family transitions forward.  Ms. Keaton’s legal background coupled with a past career as a school teacher is often sought by divorcing parents who have their children’s best interests at heart.

Making the decision on whether or not to keep the house by either spouse, whether in a negative equity situation or not, should be carefully examined. Decisions based on partial information can have dire financial consequences if all the aspects have not been explored and fully analyzed.

Look at your home in the big picture as part of the whole and try to detach the emotion from your decision making.  Start by looking at the monthly costs involved and see if it makes sense financially to keep the house in divorce.  Remember that you will need to add the total costs of the mortgage, taxes, insurance, homeowner’s dues and maintenance when doing your calculations.

Some ideas to consider so you don’t end up in the poor house after your divorce:

• Joint mortgages should be severed at the time of the divorce if at all possible.  Otherwise, if the party responsible for paying the mortgage can’t, or won’t, make the payments on time BOTH spouses credit will suffer substantially.  (See the pitfalls in my case study here).   Be aware that your creditors are not bound by the terms of your divorce agreement.  If your name is on the note, you are still responsible for paying it!
• All assets are not created equal and the home may not be the best asset to keep, especially if you don’t have much access to liquid assets. Your home is an illiquid asset that does not produce cash flow.  You can’t buy groceries or put gas in your car with it even if you do have value in your property.  Money will be needed for ongoing repairs and maintenance.
• Don’t forget to factor in potential rising mortgage payments if your note is adjustable and taxes and insurance will also surely continue to rise over time.
• If you will only be keeping the house for a few years (perhaps until a child graduates) consider structuring your divorce settlement so that when the house is sold in the future, both parties share the costs of selling the home including repairs, maintenance, commissions and closing costs.  This way one party is not saddled with all those costs alone.  Of course, you also may be sharing market gains as well.
• It is vitally important to look into any potential capital gains tax liability a spouse may be assuming if they take the home as part of the settlement.  Uncle Sam’s bite can be substantial in some cases.
• If the house really is too much to handle now, then a better choice might be to sell and downsize into something more affordable, but beware of purchasing a new home before the divorce is final as any property purchased while still married could potentially be considered marital property – meaning that you may have to split any potential equity in your new home with your soon-to-be ex. In addition, qualifying for a new mortgage on another home could be hindered because you will have to qualify for that new mortgage with all of the debt from the current home.
• Start small if you need to begin again after divorce. Find something that works in your budget and your means.  You can always rebuild from there, but you will be starting anew on solid footing instead of a crumbling foundation.

Seek a divorce financial planning professional, who can connect you with a knowledgeable realtor and a savvy mortgage specialist.  The earlier on you do this, the fewer problems you are likely to face.  By working together, they can assess your situation and help you avoid the multitude of problems and pitfalls surrounding your family house in divorce.

Lisa C. Decker, CDFA

www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com

Lisa@DivorceMoneyMatters.com

866-722-7226

“Discover the Best Kept Divorce Secrets to Creating Rock Solid Results for Your Family’s Future” 

Facing divorce feels overwhelming, doesn’t it?

Maybe you’re afraid of what’s going to happen, how the divorce will go, and unsure of the financial future you’ll face. Or maybe you’re worried about how your kids will adjust … or both.

You want to get it done right, but you aren’t sure who to trust or where to begin and you want to make sure nothing gets missed in the process.

Or maybe you’re “on the other side,” putting divorce behind you now and need to wrap up loose ends, but you aren’t sure what that looks like either.

How could you?  Nothing in life ever prepares you for this.

I understand your worries and fears and I want to help calm them for you.  I’ve helped hundreds of people like you find better, less bitter, ways to divorce while saving them time, money, and their sanity always with a focus on what’s best for the family.

Starting on the journey of divorce can be scary, lonely, and for some, downright crazy.  You may not be sure where to begin or what come next.  You may wonder who can you trust, who you need on your team (did you even know you need a “team” and who should be on it?) and where to find the right professionals for your unique circumstances?

And coming to the end of your divorce can open up another avenue of questions and concerns around how to divvy up the assets and debts and how to deal with credit, insurance, and tax matters.

Because of my line of work barely a day goes by without someone sharing their personal horror stories of “divorce gone wrong,” – things that cost them tens of thousands of additional dollars and added more angst to their already stressful situation. The saddest part is that many of the problems they share with me could have been avoided altogether had they known what to do, or in some cases what NOT to do, and the unintended consequences of their choices.

To find out more about how you can make a smart start and find a better, less bitter, road to recovery in your divorce, join me for my complimentary teleseminar January 22^nd, 2013: 

How to Create a Rock Solid Foundation for Your Family’s Future:

7 Must-Know Divorce Secrets to Saving Your Finances and the Fabric of Your Family!

Find out more details and reserve your complimentary seat here: www.DivorceDollarsandSense.com

Here’s a sampling of what I will be sharing with you on this complimentary, one-hour + call:

• The TOP SEVEN Mistakes in Divorce and How YOU Can Avoid Them
• The TWO key reasons divorcing folks many times fail to get their best outcome
• When you should and SHOULDN’T listen to your attorney
• Lessons from cases of “Divorce Gone Awry” and my personal experiences as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst that will help you avoid common mistakes made by others.
• A download of my FREE gift for you ~ The Divorce Mistakes Prevention Guide ~ follow along and take important notes during the Teleseminar.
• LIVE Q&A at the end of the Teleseminar!  Ask Your Personal Questions and get your answers live!!

Find out more details and reserve your complimentary seat here: www.DivorceDollarsandSense.com