Lisa and her team hope all you Dads out there had a very happy Father’s Day! With this being the first Father’s Day for and her children since the death of her cherished husband, Ron, she carries even more empathy now for those who are separated from their parents or children; and the incredible worth of a Dad in a child’s life.
For those of you dealing with divorce, holidays like this one might be particularly painful as they are reminders that your life is changing and how this affects your role as a parent.
Especially when emotions run high, fighting it out in court may seem like the only option. However, there are more peaceful, civilized alternatives to divorce by court trial, even in highly contested situations, and some of the advantages and benefits these alternatives can bring.
The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
Many people resist the idea of mediation or arbitration because they know it will involve compromise. However, with the right professional support team, you will be well equipped to control the outcome of your own divorce, rather than “letting the court decide” what’s best for you and your children.
The goal of mediation is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions. The goal is to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and learn how to move through them without getting stuck.
~ Dr. P. Goldin
By contrast, some couples mutually realize divorce is their best option, and they resolve to end the marriage collaboratively. Together they work with a neutral party to help them cross the “t’s” and dot the “i’s”. This way they ensure transparency and clarity, and the decision is made by mutual consent. However, even in a collaborative divorce, some compromise or negotiation might be necessary to completely resolve the issues at hand.
Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.
~ Robin Sharma
Whether you work with an attorney or not, the simple fact is not every divorce can be settled, and not every mediation resolves everything. But surely it is worth exploring alternatives to what could be a very costly process – physically, emotionally and financially – as a messy litigation can often be. Talk to your divorce team and see what your options are. You may be very glad you did!
Wishing you every health and happiness for each new chapter of your life…