Getting Emotional Support in Divorce Can Save Your Mind and Your Money
Let’s face it, life doesn’t always work out how we planned. No one in their right mind enters into marriage believing they will get divorced.
But here you find yourself.
Stress and its accompanying emotions like fear, anxiety, and confusion are common on the roller coaster ride of divorce. It’s when those feelings and more, like anger, revenge, or overwhelm cloud your mental judgment, that big problems can occur. Unfortunately making decisions based on emotions can have dire consequences to your family, your finances, and your future.
This is not a time when you should rush to make decisions, nor should you stick your head in the sand believing this is not happening. As hard as it is, this should be your time to take serious control and concise action.
But what if emotions are causing you or your spouse, or both, to veer out of control in your divorce?
Start by understanding that not thinking sensibly may cause BIG divorce regrets later on which can make it even more difficult for the healing process to begin. And the results of the choices you’ll face could impact your financial future for the rest of your life; especially if you make any of the common, costly and permanent mistakes that frequently happen in divorce.
We know that stress in life comes in many shapes and forms, but with divorce stress is compounded by the “known” and “unknown” stressors.
Known stressors include:
knowing that big changes are coming as you start over,
probably having less money to live on then you’re accustomed to,
facing BIG decisions to be made,
potentially paying heaps of money in legal fees, and
realizing that your children will feel the affects in ways you can’t.
What about the “unknown” stressors? Things like:
not knowing where to begin the process,
confusion on how to untangle the financial knots of your marriage,
worrying if you’ll get your fair share in the divorce,
figuring out where will you live and if you afford it,
not knowing if you find a job after being out of the workforce to stay home with the kids,
wondering if you’ll survive and get through it all with your mind and your money intact.
Actually fear of the unknown can cause much more stress than what is known. I’ve seen many clients fear the creation of a budget because they’ve never done this exercise before and they are afraid of what the results will look like. Ironically, once I’ve walked them through it they usually tell me that they feel better knowing, even if it’s not what they wanted to hear.
This is your future and you need to march into it with the knowledge and information to make sound, informed decisions. Doing so requires you have strong emotional support whether it be with a therapist, divorce coach or support group – reach out and get the help you need and deserve. Doing so will actually strengthen your ability to work well with your attorney, mediator, and divorce financial planner so you get the best possible outcome for your situation.
This isn’t about your past – this is about planning your next steps – for your future and the future of your family. That takes having a team of quality professionals to guide you and your ability to hear, and act rationally, on what they are advising.