Co-Parenting Sanely & Successfully
Nothing changes the family dynamic more than death or divorce. Both follow the same grief process, and both can unexpectedly leave you a single parent.
The difference is that divorce usually means you are not a single parent alone, and that you now have to make all your parenting decisions jointly with someone you may not even like. So how is possible to grieve, adjust to single life and keep your kids first as they share time between two parents and homes?
"If Matt and I had a great relationship, we would still be together, but we chose to move on because we had different visions of how we wanted to live our lives. That doesn't mean, though, that we can't rebuild something that would be the best thing for the kids." ~Kate Hudson
No matter the reason for your divorce, the children are never at fault and should never be put in the middle of adult issues and conflict. At DivorceTown USA® we strongly advocate and have a heart for helping parents create cooperative, amicable parenting plans. The best-case scenario for your children is that both of you work together to create a fair, loving, time-sharing plan that keeps your kids physical and emotional needs first.
"At the end of the day, you've got to be a little selfless. You have to say 'It's not about us. This didn't work out quite how we wanted it to but look at the amazing blessing that we have in these wonderful children.' So you kinda put everything else to the side and really focus." ~ Nick Cannon
But what if your ex won’t work with you? What if they are trying to use your children as leverage in child support or tax breaks? What if they are deliberately keeping your children from you? In some cases, it may require working with a parenting coordinator, getting attorneys involved or, in extreme cases, appointing a Guardian ad Litem (child advocate) to specifically represent the children’s best interests.
At the end of the day, you will have little or no control over the attitude and actions of your ex. But you can control your actions and reactions to the situation. If you are committed to maintaining a happy, healthy environment for your children, then you are creating a least one consistently “safe” space for your children to be themselves, grow and thrive despite or because of the divorce process.
"Make a positive difference in your children's lives. Act and speak about your co-parent with respect and integrity." ~ Allison Pescosolido
We understand that many of these suggestion and ideas are much easier said than done. That is why we have dedicated the month of March to Co-Parenting Sanely and Successfully through our articles, social media campaign, support group and a free Webinar on March 31st.
You are not alone in this. Please reach out for more personal support through coaching, counseling or therapy. Build a tribe that will support you and your children and include experienced, caring professionals as necessary throughout this process.
We wish you and your family the very best.