National Child-Centered Divorce Month - Free Gifts for All!

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Please join me in celebrating and acknowledging the third annual National Child-Centered Divorce Month being launched with complimentary gifts for parents throughout the month of July.

 

Divorce book author, Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, my recent teleseminar guest and founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network, initiated National Child-Centered Divorce Month. “These weeks are dedicated to helping parents make the best possible decisions regarding their children during and after a divorce.”

 

To help spread the word throughout North America, I,along with a group of other leading divorce experts, will be providing free ebooks, coaching sessions and other complimentary gifts for divorcing and divorced parents throughout the entire month of July.

 

You can find the full roster of experts and topics along with more information on how to claim your free gifts and sign-up for the free teleseminars here -  


Child Centered Divorce

http://www.ChildSharing.com/ChildCenteredDivorce

“I am thrilled to have a recognized expert like Lisa C. Decker sharing her expertise during National Child-Centered Divorce Month,” adds Sedacca. “She/he is a welcome addition to our outstanding team of participants.”  I am honored and thrilled as well!  I hope you will avail yourself to all of these fabulous free gifts.

 

Parents can access all the divorce and parenting-related gifts by visiting http://www.ChildSharing.com/ChildCenteredDivorceMonth where they can click on descriptions of each item as well as background information about each expert.

 

To learn more about the free teleseminar series and other activities connected with National Child-Centered Divorce Month visit: www.childcentereddivorce.com or www.childsharing.com/ChildCenteredDivorceMonth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Great Advice for Divorced Mom’s to Remember on Father’s Day.

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Reprinted from the D-spot Dzine of Laura Campbell.  Great advice for mom’s to remember on Father’s Day….Happy Father’s Day to all the dad’s who are out there reading this.

~ Lisa ~ 

Father’s Day Advice!

So, this weekend is Father’s Day!

If you are separated or divorced, this is a day that can be filled with anxiety, frustration, anger and all kinds of emotions.

What I want to stress to you today is that no matter what kind of man/"ex" your children’s father is…he is still their father and they need him desperately!

· Regardless of what your children say
· Regardless of what he does
· Whether or not he pays, honors his obligations or is a kind/decent person

Your children need him!

I know how hard this is to absorb and to respect sometimes, but how you address him and this day, will be something your children will remember… forever!

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            fathers day

Having your children disappointed in their father, guilty for loving him or afraid to tell you how they really feel for him will only close the door of trust and communication between you and them.

They need to be allowed to:

· love him
· spend time with him
· define their own relationship with him
· share their feelings and emotions about him with you in a safe and trusting way
· learn how to communicate with him

There is nothing that can come between your relationship with them except for your own insecurities and emotions about your "ex".

So, here are my tips for you on this Father’s Day:

1. It’s not about you!

I don’t mean to sound offensive, but Father’s Day is not about how YOU feel about your Ex. It’s about your children. If your children have a good relationship with their father, then regardless of whose "day" it is, they should have the opportunity to spend time with him on this day. If they have a distant or unhealthy relationship with their father, then this is a day that will be filled with all kinds of emotions for them. They will need your strength, compassion and understanding.

2. Create a safe and trusting environment for communication.

Set a new pattern this year by opening the door to non-judgemental conversation about how they would like to celebrate father’s day. Would they like to see their father? What would they like to do on father’s day with their dad?

If they have a poor relationship with him, what would make them feel better? Perhaps a call or a card? The most important thing will be for you to LISTEN and NOT offer any feedback or opinion. Just an acknowledgement of what they feel and what they want.

3. Focus on the good.

This would be a great time for you to try and focus on the "good" parts of their father. Is he gentle? Is he creative? Is he generous with them? If you can find and acknowledge the good in your "ex", you may be surprised that he might be able to rise to the occasion. Perhaps sharing with him that " your children miss him and want very much to spend a bit of time with him…how could you support that?" The outcome may surprise you!

4. Celebrate your own father…their Grandfather.

Part of Father’s Day is also celebrating your own father…your children’s grandfather! Make sure that when you are scheduling the day and making time for your children to be with their father, that you also schedule in time to be with your father. If my children are going to spend the day with their dad…I always make arrangements with him to bring the kids to have breakfast/brunch with my father before I drop them off with him. We do the same on Mother’s Day….my children spend time with their dad and his family before or after they spend time with me.

5. Reward your maturity!

Congratulations! You have put your children’s emotions ahead of your own and taken a HUGE step in building trust and closeness between you and them! While they are out with their father, do something wonderful for yourself to acknowledge what you have done to support and encourage the very special bond between father and child.

No matter what the relationship between you and your "Ex", your children need to know that you respect and honor their relationship with him and that you are not threatened by their love for him! It is something they will take with them for the rest of their lives!

Lastly, as a parent, it is your job to raise children that are unselfish and attentive to the feelings of others. Encourage them to call their father, buy a gift or card for him and acknowledge that it is a day to celebrate him. Just as they want to be celebrated on their birthdays and special milestones, they need to also put others first at different times during the year!

By the way…my kids won’t see my father this year on Father’s Day…but not because I don’t work this through with my ex-husband, but because my parents are out of town!

LIVE well
LAUGH often
LOVE much
and DANCE

Have a great week!

laura

laura campbell
founder, the d spot, llc

divorce and life transition consultant
helping women regroup, renew and reinvent themselves before, during and after divorce
www.lauracampbellcompanies.com
laura@discoverthedspot.com
203.623.4310

Consumer Financial Stress Test - How do you score?

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NFCC CREATES CONSUMER FINANCIAL STRESS TEST

National Financial Literacy Survey Serves as Benchmark for Financial Stability

 

 

This is reprinted from the National Foundation for Credit Counseling website. 

Take the test and see how you rank.

 

May 7, 2009  Silver Spring, MD - As Americans await news of the stress test evaluation of banks, many may wonder if they’d pass a similar test if applied to their personal finances. It’s a valid question, and one that should not be ignored.

 

To help consumers measure their own financial stability, the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) created the following Consumer Financial Stress Test based on the findings of the NFCC’s 2009 Consumer Financial Literacy Survey.

 

See how your finances measure up relative to the rest of Americans.

 

Q: On a scale of A to F, what grade would you give yourself in terms of your knowledge about personal finance?

Results: It appears that many of us would not be moving to the front of the class, as 41 percent of U.S. adults, or more than 92 million people, gave themselves a grade of C, D or F on their knowledge of personal finance.

 

Q: Which best describes how you manage your money?

Results: Less than half, 42 percent, keep close track of their spending, with 7 percent, or nearly 16 million, admitting they don’t know how much they spend on food, housing, and entertainment, and do not monitor their overall spending.

 

Q: What best describes your financial situation?

Results: 26 percent, or more than 58 million adults, admit to not paying all of their bills on time, with 13 million admitting to having debts in collection, or are seriously considering filing for bankruptcy, or have done so in the last three years.

 

Q: In which ways did the terms of your mortgage turn out to be different than what you initially expected?

Results: 42 percent, or more than 94 million people currently have a mortgage. Of those, 28 percent say that the terms of their mortgage somehow turned out to be different, including either the payment amount or terms of the loan, the interest rate or its duration, or they had no knowledge of the required Private Mortgage Insurance.

 

Q: What percentage of your household income do you save toward retirement?

Results: More than 74 million people do not put any part of their annual household income toward retirement. This number is up from 28 percent in 2008 to 33 percent in 2009.

 

Q: Compared to one year ago, how has the current economic climate affected your spending, and if you are spending less now, if your financial situation were to improve, would you be likely to spend more?

Results: Although 57 percent of adults report spending less than they were a year ago, 45 percent of those now spending less admit that if their financial situation were to improve, they would resume their previous spending habits.

 

Q: Have you ordered a copy of your credit report, and do you know your credit score?

Results: In spite of it being free, nearly two-thirds, or 144 million people, have not ordered a copy of their credit report in the past year. Additionally, more than one-third admit that the do not know their credit score.

 

"Would your finances be viewed as solvent, or would you be told to raise more capital?" asks Gail Cunningham, spokesperson for the NFCC. "The survey reveals startling deficiencies related to financial stability. That’s the bad news. The good news is that tools are available for consumers to take control of their financial future, but it is up to the consumer to reach out for that help."

 

The 2009 Financial Literacy survey was conducted by telephone within the United States by Harris Interactive on behalf of the NFCC between March 13 and March 16, 2009 among 1,000 adults ages 18+. Results were weighted for age, sex, geographic region, and race where necessary to align them with their actual proportions in the population.

 

If you need help raising your grade on the Consumer Financial Stress Test, reach out to an NFCC Member Agency. To reach the agency closest to you, dial (800) 388-2227, or go online to www.DebtAdvice.org. For help in Spanish, call (800) 682-9832.

 

The National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC), founded in 1951, is the nation’s largest and longest serving national nonprofit credit counseling organization. The NFCC’s mission is to promote the national agenda for financially responsible behavior and build capacity for its members to deliver the highest quality financial education and counseling services. NFCC Members annually help more than three million consumers through close to 850 community-based offices nationwide. For free and affordable confidential advice through a reputable NFCC Member, call (800) 388-2227, (en Español (800) 682-9832) or visit www.nfcc.org.

 

Coming Up - Live Radio Interview - “Financial Quirks of Divorce”

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Don’t miss this live interview by Margot Swann of Visions Anew on her radio show, Divorce Resource - June 17th from 1:00 to 2:00 pm EST.  We will be discussing the "Financial Quirks of Divorce." You can listen live here -
http://www.radiosandysprings.com/index.php?id=3

 

Want to Prevent Divorce and Appear in Redbook Magazine?!

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Looking for a way to prevent divorce?  This might be your chance to work with a fabulous expert.  Details are below.  Contact the reporter directly if interested in participating.  Good luck!

~ Lisa~

 

Redbook’s "Marriage Makeover" Looking for Couples

Name: Brenda Della Casa

Email: Cinderellawasaliar@gmail.com



Title: Author of Cinderella Was a Liar/Freelancer

Media Outlet: Redbook Magazine

Specific Geographic Region: N

Deadline: 07:06pm EASTERN - 19 June

Query:

Redbook Magazine is seeking couples for their famed "Marriage Makeover"
section. Couples who are interested in having Redbook’s top couples
therapist help them work through their issue (no issue is too large or
small to submit from chore and parenting disagreements to in-law problems
and infidelity). The section is not salacious or embarrassing in any way
but focused on helping the couple work through their issue and help readers
with the same issue learn from the piece as well. Couples must be
photographed for the piece and real first names will be used. To be
considered, you must send your names, ages, a photo, a brief but detailed
description of your issue, how many years you have been married, how many
children you have, your full contact information and how many years you
have been married. Please make sure that both parties are interested
in doing the profile before submitting. There is no pay for being
profiled but the therapy is free. Please submit all information to BRENDA
DELLA CASA AT Cinderellawasaliar@gmail.com ASAP to be considered.

 

 

Credit Card Reforms Don’t Go Far Enough

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Recently we saw landmark legislation pass regarding credit card reform for consumers.  All I can say is, "It’s about time, but it doesn’t go far enough." 

 

Those of you who read my blog know that I am a vocal advocate for reform in this area as the credit card companies have essentially become what I call, "Legalized Loan Sharks."  Read again why Capital One is no longer in my wallet -

 

http://divorcemoneymatters.com/2009/03/20/credit-card-reform-action-alert-capital-one-whats-not-in-my-wallet/
 

In the past week, I was interviewed by Consumers Union, the non-profit arm of Consumer Reports, regarding my experiences with Capital One and Discover card, who has also joined the game of rewriting the rules in their favor.   My story will be featured, along with many others, as we continue to ask why Congress can give immediate assistance to many of the largest financial institutions, but consumers have to wait until next year while the credit card companies continue to sock it to us.

 

Our economy cannot revive and prosper if folks are spending their hard earned dollars on more interest payments instead of new purchases that are needed to get money flowing through our economy and onto recovery.  I will keep you posted on any further actions with this issue.

New divorce video has lots of useful information!

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I am very excited about the addition of video to my repetoire of ways to reach out and connect with others.

Recently I was interviewed by Bruce Towers of Freedom Builders about my divorce practice and how I help my clients.  If you want to know more about different divorce options, more peaceful ways of divorcing, what you need to know about divvying up assets and debts, then check this out.  I hope you find this information interesting and helpful!

http://tinyurl.com/Lisa-C-Decker-CDFA

I welcome your comments.

~ Lisa ~