NY Times Interview - CNN and Good Morning America want you!

Blog No Comments

Happy New Year to Everyone!

I hope that you all enjoyed blessed holidays. 

I would like to share with you the news of my quote in the NY Times today.  Recently I received a call from a reporter there doing a story on the down housing market and it’s effects on those in divorce.  That story was released online today.  You can read the full story here http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/30/us/30divorce.html?_r=1&em .

In the meantime I have received calls from CNN and Good Morning America today as they are also working on similar stories. They are looking for couples who are in situations that the article addresses.  Do you know of any couples currently wanting to divorce, in the process of divorce or recently divorced who have made some creative living arrangements because of not being able to sell their home?  I am specifically referring to situations that the article speaks about – living on different floors or separate areas of the house or sharing the home during different days of the week, etc. (during and after the divorce).   

They are looking for middle to upper-middle income couples, anywhere in the country, who would be willing to at least speak with them and then possibly appear on camera.  I have talked with the reporters about the sensitivity of this issue and they have assured me that no one will just show up at their doors with cameras. They do understand the personal issues behind this and want that to be the main focus of their stories, which is putting a human face on the economic fallout of divorcing in a down real estate market.

If you know anyone who would be interested in taking part in this please feel free to have them contact me directly - Lisa (@) Divorce Money Matters . com.

Wishing you all a new year filled with all good things to come.

Doing Good With Coffee

Blog No Comments

Hey all you coffee lovers out there, check this out.  Looking for a great last minute gift idea?

Recently I learned about a local coffee shop within the Walton on the Chattahoochee River Community in Atlanta.  At this coffee shop, now open to the public, you can buy specially bagged coffee from the Land of a Thousand Hills in Rwanda.  Every bean of this fine coffee is individually hand plucked at the moment of ripeness by Rwandan farmers and packaged for market in a truly healing environment because those working together today, were waring enemies not too long ago, now joined in reconciliation community projects for the good of all. 

By purchasing a bag of this delicious brew, you are not only supporting their peaceful endeavors, but also assuring that these farmers are paid a living wage and that $1 is invested in a micro-finance program designed to help genocide widows become entreprenuers in their own communities.  You can find out more at this website - www.DrinkCoffeeDoGood.com

I’ve been very impressed with Walton Communities for thinking outside the box with the offerings that they have for their residents such as financial educational classes, singles and childrens activites, and even reimbursements for attending community cultural events. They are rather unique and if you are looking for somewhere to move during or after your divorce, I highly recommend you check them out in your search for a great place to live.

The “Red Sock Warrior” Mom

Blog No Comments

A new client recently shared this story with me and has graciously allowed me to share it with my readers.  I think her story is a testimony to sheer grit and determination and can serve as inspiration to others who have likely shared moments like these.  Enjoy!

Dear friends and family,  

Let me first start by saying that tonight did not start out a great night at all.  As I walk out of work this evening, anger and frustration were fueling my desire to run, run as fast as I could away from the situation at hand and not look back.  I truly believe I could have run a marathon on my anger alone.  

Yesterday’s hearing was a complete disaster!  30 more days to live with this smug bastard.  A man who has just returned from an adulterous affair in Washington DC.  Our trial, scheduled for FEBRUARY 24TH!!  Some judicial system we have!

But I settled into my responsibilities and tried to rise above my pain.  Racing through the grocery I grabbed a few things, picked the boys (ages 3 1/2 and 2) up at school only to have them both fight over the same toy and both cry and scream all the way out to the car.  I get home, make dinner, throw most of it away 30 minutes later after it was picked over by two very picky eaters and then have the rest of the evening filled with whines, screams, tears … and Scooby Doo.  

After fighting with my youngest boy to put on his PJs and brush his teeth and pretty much everything else tonight (that boy has such a stubborn streak) and rubbing my oldest’s back for the standard 10 minutes of scratching and rubbing.  It was 9 pm…. Mommy’s time.  I sat in my dining room, alone in the dark, balling.  I was cursing God and asking why he allowed me to marry this monster.  Why did I deserve this life?  What had I done wrong?  Why did I have to go through this?  Why was I being punished? Have I not had enough? [4 years ago I had lost my precious baby girl at 7 1/2 months, and yesterday found out my beloved father was losing his fight to lung/prostate cancer and they were calling in hospice.]

Then I heard it.  The faint sound from my washing machine telling me that something had gone wrong with the load I had started earlier in the evening.  It was the second or third time I had heard it chiming, but I had previously gone down stairs, hit a few buttons and hoped it would start back up.  This time, I walked down stairs and returned with a very heavy basket filled with drenched clothes, still sticky from the soap.  I sarcastically thanked God for this additional challenge as I began to ring the clothes of the abundant water.  This is how He was answering my pleas - a load of soaked clothes and a broken washing machine. Thanks! Half way through my wringing project, wishing for an old hand crank… I decided I had better go down and take a look at the machine.  After all, I would have to cover this up pretending nothing happened and let my soon-to-be ex "break" it the next time he used it.  As I drained the water from the barrel, I remembered what the repairman had shown me when something had gotten into the drain and clogged the motor previously.  So I decided, what the heck, let me see if I can at least open it up and take a look.  So dressed in my flannel PJs and a screw driver in my hand, I got down on the floor and began my plumbing duties.

The hardest part of the repair was removing the front cover.  My bloody knuckles are proof.  I opened the motor casing, and immediately saw the culprit.  A tiny, red, Tommy Hilfiger sock.  One of the boys and one that has long been outgrown.  It has probably been there somewhere amongst the bowels of the washer for the last 12-18 months. I yanked and pulled, and the sock finally came free - out spilled the remaining water all over the basement floor.  I put the motor and drain encasements back together, plugged the machine and hoped for the best.  


As I sat on the tool box and pressed the button to start the cycle.  Joy swept over me as the barrel began to spin!  I had fixed it!  And I though how appropriate …  I have been in the spin cycle my whole marriage, with his constant spinning of lies and deceit.  I have been tossed around and around.  But the spin cycle is complete!  I may get a few bloody knuckles but in the end I will be able to stand strong with faith, my dignity, my boys, my family and my awesome friends.  Everything else can be replaced or re-earned.  

 
HE did answer my pleas… with a broken washing machine, and confidence that I can do anything when I put my mind to it.  And I have the red sock to prove that!  So tonight, I am again hopeful for the future.  A happy and joyful future with my boys.  Fights, whines, cries and all (but I am particular to the hugs and kisses).  

And so you ask yourself, what does any self respecting plumber do after a washing machine repair… why she sits down to a bowl of pasta and a glass of wine and then tells her best friends all about her victory however small it may be!


Love to you all…


Your friend, The "Red Sock" Warrior

Beginning Divorce? Mind Your Money Matters

Blog No Comments

As we come toward the end of another year, many people start thinking about changes they want to see in their lives for the new year.  If divorce is in your future, this article I wrote recently can be invaluable to your financial prosperity.

 

Mind Your Money Matters - Beginning Divorce

By Lisa C. Decker, CDFA

Keeping an eye on your finances is always a good idea no matter what stage of life you are in.  But when planning to divorce it is imperative to keep tabs on all of your financial details so that you don’t get short changed when the final divorce decree is handed down.

Getting It All Together

Start by gathering every possible financial document possible including (but not limited to):

  • Bank statements,
  • Credit card statements,
  • Auto and home loans,
  • Investments statements,
  • Retirement account statements,
  • Real estate property records,
  • Mortgage applications, 
  • Tax returns (both personal and corporate if that applies),
  • Life, health and disability insurance policies,
  • Any financial documents pertaining to businesses owned,
  • Deeds and titles, and
  • Wills and trusts
  • Don’t forget to check computer records as well

While this may be cumbersome, being organized will likely save you in the long run with reduced attorney and divorce financial planning fees and can help you to capture every dollar you deserve.

 

Figuring Out Where Things Stand

Once you have gone through the gathering process, make a list of every asset and debt item, sorting them into lists of “mine”, “yours” and “ours”. 

This is crucial if you came into the marriage with assets of your own and have kept them titled solely in your name.  Things like cash, investments, properties, vehicles, inheritance and gifts.  Of course, whatever debt you brought into the marriage individually will be considered as well.  If you shared those separate assets by depositing them into joint accounts, they are no longer separate assets and will be split among you both.

Generally, separate assets are considered apart from marital property (those things acquired while married); however, the value that those assets have grown during the marriage may be considered marital property and will be divided accordingly. 

Make sure to copy everything.  Records have a way of disappearing when divorce becomes imminent. 

 

Defensive Financial Moves

  • Pull Your Credit Report – Find out now about any potential problems before the divorce is final.  Make sure to get your reports from all three major credit reporting agencies – Experian, TransUnion and Equifax. 
  • Open Your Own Credit Accounts – It is important to establish credit in your own name if you don’t have any.  For many women it is wiser and easier to do while you are still married and can qualify, than to try and do it after the divorce is done. 
  • Payoff and Close Joint Credit Accounts –Even if your divorce decree divvy’s up your debt, creditors are not a part of this agreement and will hold you liable for unpaid debts your spouse may have agreed to pay.  Best bet – pay off everything if possible before the divorce is final.

Covering the basics in the beginning stages of your divorce can save you heartache, headaches and dollars as you move forward in your new future. 

 

Is divorce in your future?  Don’t go through it without divorce financial planning.  50/50 is not always equal or equitable.  Lisa C. Decker, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™, helps her clients to “Divorce Your Spouse, Not Your Money™,” by utilizing cutting edge tools and industry insight to analyze proposed divorce settlements, point out potential problems and offer alternative solutions.  Visit www.DivorceMoneyMatters.com or call 866-722-7226 for more info.

The Holidays – Finding the True Gifts Within

Blog No Comments

It’s that time of year again when the hustle and bustle of the holidays hits us.  We seek an attitude of gratitude over Thanksgiving and then run head long right into the shopping, cooking, entertaining and in many cases, budget-busting gift giving holidays.

For many people, by the time the big day(s) get here, they are so exhausted and spent, literally and figuratively, that they have no energy left to enjoy them.  This year in particular, most people are feeling the economic crunch which can leave them feeling even more pressure to do more with less.

But I believe that within every challenge, and these are certainly challenging times, there are gifts within.  This year I hope that many will seek the true gifts that are meant for the holidays…give a piece of your heart.

There are many ways to show you care beyond just buying a gift.  Ways that are so genuine, they can only come from the hands and heart of the giver.  Think about old-fashioned ways of handcrafting something special.  Here are a few ideas:  Homemade candles and soaps; knit a scarf; bead jewelry; paint or draw a picture; make a piece of pottery; make cookies, breads or candies.  These can be very inexpensive ways to give a gift, but more importantly, they show the person how much they truly mean to you.

Another idea that I love came to me from a friend who lost her sister recently.  She is now going to give a legacy gift every year to her friends and family and ask for the same in return.  A legacy gift means don’t wait until you pass on to pass on the things that are near and dear to your heart.  Give them now - a special heirloom like a piece of jewelry or china…little things that are a piece of your heart and history. 

May you have a truly blessed holiday…  Lisa